Magic Shop

A warm glow sets out across the dark alleyway, coming from the petite cafe on the corner. The hanging lanterns cast a golden shadow in the early morning light. Every so often a passing witch or wizard catches a whiff of the heavenly delights, fresh from the oven and they follow the swirling smell of goodness through the great oak door. With a tinkering sound from the golden bell, the door glides open.

Delicate green vines blooming with lilac bellflowers hang from the ceiling. When the flowers open, fine fairy dust floats down from inside. Before it touches the rustic wood floor, it fades into nothing, leaving no traces behind. Luscious green succulents and plants hang in baskets from the roof and small trees sit in earthy coloured pots littering the room. Soft melodies drift from the back corner, coming from the grand piano that plays itself. The smell of freshly baked goods is stronger, mixing with the rich smell of organic coffee.

At the front of the cafe, behind the till, Nymphs take the orders of customers. Their vibrant green skin and emerald green hair makes it hard to look away from their stunning beauty. Their dresses made from soft leaves and an intricate crown sitting on their head made from intwined moss and twigs. With a wave of their slender hands, things begin to whirr into life and cups fly over to be placed gently under the coffee machine. Coffee pours into the cups and it floats over coming to a stop at the prepared saucers. Gorgeous fairies navigate the room with grace carrying trays of food and drink. Their elegant white dresses float behind them as they go from table to table. The wings on their backs all different but all captivating and delicate flower crowns adorn their long soft flowing hair. Stretching across a plush grey couch is the local cat. Soft grey fur and dazzling blue eyes makes people swoon at the sight of him.

The menu board is filled with delightful options from tropical fruit platters to warming winter soups and fresh homemade bread. Scrumptious daily specials are being written on a chalkboard. The dusty chalk dances across the inky black with no ones hand guiding it along.

At the end of the day after the last happy customer leaves, the fairies and nymphs flick their wrists and the little shop comes to life. Curtains draw, chairs flip onto the tables and the dusters and mops dance across the floor, wiping up crumbs that have been dropped. Uneaten food vanishes from the glass cabinets, instantly transporting to the plates of hungry children in the orphanage down the street. The great oak door is finally locked and the little corner cafe waits in the sleeping town for the next magical day.


2 Comments

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Hi Lucy,

Here is some feedback.

Be careful of your spelling, grammar and punctuation. There are some errors popping up in your work. You need to identify these and correct them.
Try reading your work out loud to help you find the points where your writing doesn’t flow as well as you would like it to. Make sure your intention matches the words you are using.
Good strong start. Keep going with the detailed descriptions.

Keep at it.

Mr Johnson

HI Lucy,

In addition to the previous feedback,

You are using some empty adjectives at times. These are adjectives that offer no descriptive value. Try to find ways of describing that provide specific details about the object or location.
Remember that with creative writing, whenever you start writing a new ‘idea’ you start a new paragraph. This will help your writing flow.

Mr Johnson

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